JEALOUS,This is a very difficult thing for us to agree.If anyone says "you're jealous of someone" we don't agree to it.But humans in fact have a minute amount of jealousy.But why do we feel envy towards our friends success??Is there any way to get rid of it???
Here's a real life example of a person,who is simple and a common man.
"I wanted my peers to succeed as long as they didn't see more success than I did. I envy the people who are truly happy for the people around them when they succeed. That's not me. I'm competitive to a fault.
Other people's success makes me feel insecure. Other people's success makes me think about my mistakes and my failures and my shortcomings.
Some days the only thing I want to do is sleep and escape.
Other days I wonder if it will ever work out...or will I just drift through life engaging in one venture after another and then die...without ever achieving anything major while my friends are climbing the ranks at fortune 500 companies.
It is scary and it was these types of thoughts that ruined my life.
It was one day in particular. My friend landed a job at Microsoft and another friend landed a job at Google.
They were thrilled and for good reason. Their life would soon be paved with white picket fences and gated communities. And it hurt me...because my life was one big blur at the time.
I had no idea where I was going. I was engaged in a variety of different fields, fearful to commit to one. I was driving the car of life with my foot on the break and they were driving the car of life with their foot on the gas. It ruined my day.
Don't get me wrong, I was happy for them. They deserved those jobs. But it made me feel like crap.
It's the old crab analogy. Every time a crab tries to get out of the bucket, another crab pulls it down.
I was the crab trying to pull the other crab down, but it wasn't working. The crab has escaped and now I was left alone in this dark bucket and I was afraid. I saw no light.
I spent days and weeks and months in the bucket. Contemplating and wishing and thinking.
I was tired of seeing the people around me doing well while I was trying to make the improbable, probable. They were making big money and I was sleeping on couches.
I had enough. I decided to join them. And I did. I climbed out of the bucket and got a corporate job.
I wasn't made for the corporate grind, but I sacrificed myself. I killed the part of me that lived for adventure and replaced that portion with somebody who craved stability and comfort. I never did care for stability and comfort, but I made myself care.
I buried my dreams and I settled. I conformed and lowered the brightness on my life until I saw only black and white.
My time at a corporate job can be summarized by a quote from Charles Bukowski...
"How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 am by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?"
I would look in the mirror and a slave would look back. I couldn't look myself in the eye anymore because I had done what I never wanted to do, settle and embrace mediocrity.
Mediocrity was my greatest fear and now I had become just like them.
As a young teen I would take the train early in the morning just so I could see the dull faces connected to lifeless bodies that traveled to jobs that were poisoning their blood.
I made a vow to never turn into one of them. But now here I was...taking the same train...with the same dull look on my face...as I headed to a job that was stabbing me dead in the heart.
And that was the root cause of my misery. I would be cranky all the time. Pissed off at the world and I would take it out on the people I loved the most. The reason reason I was cranky was because I had buried my dreams, not because my sister forgot to put the lid on the milk.
I traded my dreams for a measly salary because that's what I saw everyone else do. I didn't want to get left behind so I did the same. I hated every minute of it because I was no longer in control. I gave up the driver seat for the passenger seat...because of my jealousy and envy towards the success of others.
And this, my friend, is the new form of slavery. Spending the prime years of your life doing stuff you hate...because the success of others makes you feel insecure.
I don't know about you, but I'm not here to spend my life working away on tasks that aren't going to matter two weeks from now. I'm not here to help build my boss's life, I'm here to build my own life.
If that means dying without ever achieving anything major, so be it. I'll take that risk. I wish I accepted this before I lost my soul working a dead end job."
--
Lesson: Every life is special in the sense that it is different. I can't compete with you. And you can't compete with me. The only person I can compete with is the person I was yesterday. Competing with others not only a waste of time but it is a waste of life...because it will get you offtrack and will have you doing stuff you hate...just so you can keep up with the crowd. Don't compete with the crowd. Run in the opposite direction with a smile on your face.
No comments:
Post a Comment